What is Compulsive Sexual Addiction
Compulsive Sexual addiction is a pattern of compulsive sexual behavior which usually leads to acting out in ways that significantly impact one’s ability to function properly in life, either personally or professionally. It takes many forms and can consume large amounts of the person's time, energy and money. Most sexual compulsive individuals engage in one or more of the following uncontrolled behaviors:
- Inappropriate online chatting
- Obsessive pornography viewing
- Extramarital affairs and promiscuity
- Excessive masturbation
- Attendance at Strip Clubs
- Use of escort services
“If you cannot control when you start or stop a behavior, and if the behavior causes problems for you and those close to you, you’re addicted.”
Real-Life Example #1: “Lauren had been married just two months when she noticed her husband’s prolonged use of the household computer and disconnected, distant demeanor. His online ‘job searches’ were turning up fruitless and after months of suspicious late night activity Lauren decided to check her husband’s online search history. What she found was a startling progression of pornographic viewing that ranged from bikini-clad women to more disturbing images of bondage. Her husband’s insatiable addiction to pornography – and subsequent excessive masturbation – led Lauren to discover a shocking three generation history of sexual addiction in her husband’s family. Now an addiction counselor, Lauren understands the underlying issues that lead 70 percent of male sex addicts to online pornography.
Real-life Example #2: “Melissa” found a cache of graphic pornographic images under the bed she shared with her husband of nine years. The photos included images of nude women, women with men, women with women and close-up body shots – a discovery so upsetting that Mesissa immediately confronted her husband. He was enraged over her ‘invasion of privacy,’ claiming the photos had no bearing on their relationship. But when Melissa found porn movies burned to CD-rom in her husband’s car soon after, her suspicions were confirmed. Her husband had an addiction he could not control – am addiction they learned had been triggered by horrible early childhood experiences and substituted for an earlier addiction to alcohol.
How Prevalent is Compulsive Sexual Addiction?
- The National Association of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity estimates that between three and six percent of Americans suffer from sexual compulsive behaviors in some form.*
- The most common form, viewing pornography, subsidizes U.S. pornography industry revenue of more than $12 billion – larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises.
- These Web sites account for 12 percent of the total sites accessible on the Internet today. Most female sexual compulsive behaviors utilize online chat rooms, which may lead to in-person physical relationships. Many male sexual compulsives view pornography and masturbate to excess, often interfering with their ability to maintain marital relationships and retain employment.
There is Hope for Those Struggling with Sexual Compulsive Addiction.
LifeSTAR provides individual and couples therapy to people struggling with pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors. Developed as a three-phase treatment plan, the program provides participants with understanding aboutcompulsive sexual behaviors and its underlying issues, and teaches them how to begin the journey toward peace, hope and healing. Emphasis is placed on effective treatment plans, support networks, a commitment to group therapy and other strategies for sobriety, presented in an effort to help participants live healthier, happier lives. The LifeSTAR program is available for men and women, and family members of the sexual compulsive individual.
For the sexual compulsive person, habitual behaviors like these represent maladaptive ways to meet physical, emotional or psychological needs for love, touch, relationships and intimacy with themselves and others – and require education to recognize the underlying issues prompting the behavior. Sexual compulsions affects both genders and people of all ethnicities, marital status and age. They look like everyone else in the community, accounting for why sexual compulsions individuals are difficult to identify until compulsive ‘acting out’ manifests.
How LifeSTAR Works
The LifeSTAR group sexual addiction programs are taught by certified and licensed therapists, and are broken down into three phases of recovery and healing:
Phase I
Getting Started is a six-week educational course for people struggling with sexual compulsive behaviors, and for their partners. This exciting new course provides participants with a better understanding about sexual compulsions and its underlying issues, and teaches both partners and the sexual compulsive person how to begin the journey toward peace, hope and healing. The primary focus of the Getting Started Workshop is to educate. Experience has shown that when clients are well-informed about the underlying issues that influence unhealthy behaviors, they become empowered to take a more proactive approach to recovery and life. The Getting Started Workshop is intended for those who have been attending 12-step groups or for those being discharged from an inpatient setting. It is strongly recommended that married couples attend together, so they can begin the process of education in tandem. However, the workshop is also for single adults and for those clients whose partners are not willing to attend.
Phase II
Recovery Group is intended to help clients develop solid sobriety and employ successful strategies that will help them live healthier, more productive lives. The workbooks presented in this phase focus on providing a deeper look at denial, the addiction cycle, fantasies and objectification, relapse prevention and healthy living. Participants should remain in Recovery Group until they have established solid sobriety, are implementing an effective treatment plan that includes a network of support and have a detailed understanding of their addictive system. Partners in Phase II take a deep look at their own issues and learn to recognize co-dependent behaviors and establish healthy boundaries.
Phase III
Advanced Group involves a commitment to group therapy and is geared toward helping participants maintain their newfound healthy lifestyles. This phase addresses the issues that underscored the addiction in the first place, such as faulty core beliefs, trauma and abuse. Once the sexual compulsive behavior has been stopped and the underlying issues have been addressed, healthy lifestyle changes are reinforced in order to keep the addiction from reappearing. For couples in the program, this is the time to practice their new lifestyle and new way of relating to one another. In Advanced Group, they put into practice all of the identity and boundary training they have received in the first two phases.
Getting Professional Help
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